The purpose of these early blogs around languishing and starting something is to create a personal recognition. These are light on content, not to educate, but hopefully to needle a little, helpfully. To give courage to those, conducting their own private negotiations on how well they are going. To recognise that if they are having the negotiation, then they are the ones this is for.
A bad day is a long way from a slump. A slump is a long way from a disorder. A slump is normal, as long as you come out of it. How long have you been in that slump?

Ask yourself the questions… “when was the last time I….?” and fill in the blank:

  • laughed loud and long;
  • exercised to a sweat;
  • felt deeply content beside your partner;
  • went a week without alcohol (just to see if you can);
  • learned something totally new;
  • planned your eating;
  • spent great time with your kids, on their terms
  • was thrilled by your work;
  • did something you didn’t want to do, but did it anyway, because you knew it matteredThese are the normal life challenges and rewards. None of them are essential, but all of them are healthy.
    How satisfied are you right now? Or are you conceding, perhaps, some things could be better… you know, I’m not at my best, but things are ok, its not urgent.

    Its you – you’re the one I’m after. Life can be better than you dreamed possible.

“Oh the pain, the pain”. Channeling Dr Zachary Smith, from the 60s TV show Lost in Space. Our archetypal languishing man. Outwardly well-meaning, able to enjoy the strengths of family.

Inwardly desperate and dependent. “I didn’t intend to end up here. I’m a fraud. Who will save me?”  Unable to learn, but able to steal a benefit. Reward for laziness, for sponging. Learning the wrong lessons.

Who will you be when the moment arrives? The trapped technical specialist – an expert, but so bitter, people avoid you, and your skill worthless. An indulged executive – redundant, shocked and suddenly over-qualified?

Suddenly Pain. I thought I was immune from that. Its always been there. Just not listened to. Start listening.

Below par, and getting by, is common. It seems acceptable because there is nothing seriously wrong. No alarm bells, like the frog in slowly boiling water. It acclimatises. If however it was dropped into hot water, it would know to get out fast.

Its the numbness, and its the giving in to yourself. Your brain tells you, but your body doesn’t listen. The problem is, what you feel is bearable pain, seemingly preferable to the effort of being and feeling healthy. The most seductive kind of pain. A languishing status quo. A bored, mosquito-ridden indolence. Sweating in apathy, when the cool, invigorating ocean is just over the sand dune. The pleasure having no drawing power.

Its time to snap out of it!! Pull your ‘selfs’ together. The effort of that sand-dune, the cool breeze on your sweat, and the pleasure of your swim, will far exceed anything the swamp has to offer. You agree. But the effort… oh that effort. I’m here to help you with that effort. Connect. Get started.